Hearthpwn

Yo, check this out!

Guess who's back with a brand new deck?
Yeah, you heard me it's your nightmare: Big Dick Matt.
I've come to settle this fight in a battle of RAP,
I'm spittin' these rhymes with much passion, i hope you feel that!
Some of these lines may seem a bit ambiguous,
But i can assure you fam, i'm a pure Genious!

So let's start our battle with the most feared of all:
Don't look away, i'm starting with you Thrall!
You think your totems and burst can save you?
Well guess what boy?! I can outheal you!
Keeping a SHADOW BOLT, a VENDOR a MISTRESS and OOZE,
You'll have no chance, it's your turn to lose!

Don't laugh Jaina, you're next on my list!
As soon as i'm finished, you'll have your ass kicked!
Casting spells, and stalling the game?
Well, you're not the only one who uses that theme.
Playing smart with my discovered cards,
At the end of the game all is left of you are shards.

Oh, i see you Uther, you wanna be next?
Your mom is the one, who i'm gonna text.
Buffing your hand, and flooding the board is your thing?
Well i clear them all, and heal as long as i think,
Of a way, to kill you, with this deck,
You're tough, but i do not settle with that.

My next opponent is a hero emerged from the depths,
I greet you Anduin, if you're ready for my RAP.
You pacted with dragons, i pacted with demons,
At the end of the day it doesnt matter, if life gives you lemons.
You can discover my whole deck all the way you want,
You lost this battle, go live with your aunt!

Oh i can see you are angry Garrosh!
With all those aggro cards and still, i make you blush.
I'm gettin' them bitches, you're gettin' them stiches,
i have no love for these gatgetzan snitches!
I belong to the Kabal, you are a worthless Goon,
The darkness of oblivion you shall see soon.

Come on Rexxar, you are the sixth,
And don't bring again your midrange-aggro shit.
My minions are stronger, go face if you please,
I'll triumph in the end, and you'll be on your knees,
I can stop your beasts flooding the board,
Just take a step back and hear me roar!

Malfurion, you were always too peaceful,
Go back to your so beloved nature!
Ramping up matters to me none.
My demon slaves are getting the job Done!
You think you're ahead because of your big minions, right?
Well wait till the end, when i OTK your whole life!

Valeera, it's time to turn up the heat,
oh wait, you don't even have a decent weapon to wield!
You have some burst, i give you that girl,
In the end you still gonna end up crying in the corner and curl.
You can hide in your shadows, i don't play hide'n seek,
You are not the one who'll stop my winstreak.

And i've got to fight the greatest at last
C'mon Guldan, let's get over it fast.
We all know too well how it's gonna end,
Don't be that shy, you're my only true friend.
If i play my cards right, look forward and advance,
You can be Zoo, Reno, Handlock: still stand no chance!

Wrtiting these rhymes ain't so easy as it seems,
i should've written 10 pages in my thesis with ease.
But here i am just forging those rhymes,
Ruthlessly thinking a way of new deck types.
For now i'm finished, i spoke my hearth out,
I'm outta here, but don't worry, you'll hear from me, no doubt!
[mic drop]